changing roles

So Bill and I went to a wedding where the bride and groom are both 21. Can you believe that? It still blows my mind how young people are when they get married in Sovereign Grace churches. (Not that Sovereign Grace is the only place where people get married young.) The bride and groom had grown up with each other and had known one another since they were kids. It made me wonder what it's like to be so young and in love with probably the first boy you had a major crush on... and not only that, but then you get to marry him!

In no way am I implying that I am ungrateful for Bill and when God decided it was the perfect time to bring us together. But I was a totally different person at 30 than I was at 21. And in God's perfect plan, I had to walk through some difficult times before I met Bill so that I could truly appreciate the gift from God that he is. In God's sovereignty, I did not have the upbringing that these young people are receiving from our churches, so I was not ready to get married. I look at college people now and they still look like kids. (Though I remember how adult I felt when I was in college.) =) But with the training that these "kids" are receiving at our church, by the grace of God, it would seem that some of them are ready to get married young. And this is what truly blows my mind... that at the ripe old age of 21, children can still get married if they've received training and exhibit maturity in the Lord. After all, wasn't Mary a young teenage girl when she was betrothed and beheld our Savior in her womb? The Lord saw her heart, not her age, and saw that she would be faithful to what He called her to.

I thought about all these things during the mother-son dance at the wedding. And all of a sudden, I started crying because I realized how limited my time is with William. In 20 years, William could meet his bride and tell us he wants to get married. How crazy would that be? Usually, I cry at weddings because I'm so happy for the bride, remembering how special and amazing my own wedding day was. But now it would seem that I have changed roles, and I now look at weddings from a mother's point of view. What a bittersweet day. It's the day that I lose my son and no longer am the most important woman in his life. But it's also the day that he will be blessed with a helpmate whom God perfectly suited for him from before time began. As much as I would stop time if I could, I can't. The only thing Bill and I can do is pray for the girl who will someday be his wife (and teach William to do the same), and try to train and love him to be a godly man, as he inevitably will grow, and hopefully that will include being a godly husband and father. Lord, help us to faithfully steward him now.