answered prayers

This post has been a long time coming.  Life has been super busy, but I just wanted to share about how the Lord has been faithful to answer some specific prayers regarding our boys.  These are prayers that I had prayed on a regular basis during my pregnancy, and I am amazed at how clearly and concretely the Lord has answered them.  I probably shouldn't be amazed or surprised, but I am in awe of just how involved the Lord is in our lives, even to the most minute detail.  Prayer just opens our eyes to how the Lord is faithfully at work:

1.  I prayed that the Lord would reveal specifically whether I should have a c-section or try a vbac.  I told Him that I would like to try a vbac, but if there was a specific way He wanted us to walk, to make that known to us.  My answer:  The womb was becoming more of a hostile environment for Josiah as the pregnancy progressed.  Josiah was already under stress being IUGR (intra-uterine growth restricted) with low amniotic fluid.  Also, since I had marginal previa, there was a chance that the placenta could move to the cervix and rupture during labor, putting both the baby and myself at risk.  Because of all this, the docs emphasized the importance of me not going into labor at all so that Josiah could be safely delivered via c-section without any undue, additional stress.  With those 2 factors, it seemed clear that a c-section was the way to go.  One prayer answered!

2.  I prayed that the Lord would have mercy during the recovery and transition period, that it would be easier than the first time.  My answer:  Since I didn't have to go into labor at all, my body wasn't as exhausted from going through labor and then doing an emergency c-section like it was the first time.  When the ob specialist found that the amniotic fluid had dipped into the danger zone, they scheduled me for a c-section that morning.  After that, the recovery was fairly easy.  Within a week, I felt fine physically.  The only struggle I had was from fatigue from getting up every few hours to pump to get my milk supply going.  Other than that, I felt really good.  I couldn't believe how different my recovery was from the first time.  Another prayer answered!

3.  I prayed that Josiah would be safe and healthy.  My answer:  Other than Josiah being growth-restricted and being born a month early, he has been the picture of health.  We are incredibly grateful that there were no other major developmental issues with him.  Another prayer answered!

4.  I prayed that the Lord would protect William's heart from any jealousy, envy, anger, or malice towards Josiah.... that instead he would grow a heart for Josiah and desire to care for and love his little brother.  My answer:  William did have a meltdown the first day we brought Josiah home from the hospital.  However, since that day, he has done nothing but love on Josiah.  He is always eager to pat him, bounce him (in his bouncy seat), or kiss him.  As I said before, it is really heartwarming to see, especially when he tries to shush and pat Josiah to comfort him when he's crying.  William has been our great and amazing little helper, wanting to help with everything he possibly can.  We are so encouraged by the little servant's heart he has.  He has been such a gift from God.  

5.  I prayed that Josiah would also come to love, respect, and look up to his big brother.  My answer:  Though I will see this unfolding more as they both grow older, it is awesome to be able to see small glimpses of this already.  Josiah's face lights up whenever William comes to say hi or talk to him.  He seems to have a special smile just for his big brother.  I look forward to seeing their relationship grow in the days to come.

I am still amazed at how the Lord made His presence known to me through answering these prayers so specifically.  It has been so clear (and awesome) in seeing how the Lord had sovereignly guided this pregnancy and the transition at home.  Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer and for your mercies!

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11

The Lord is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

The Lord is good to all,

and his mercy is over all that he has made.

Psalm 145:8-9

encouraging words

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

~ 1 Peter 5:10 ~

My dear husband wisely shared this verse with me, a reminder that after our suffering (that is only for a little while), there will be more grace. Grace that will restore us, confirm us, strengthen us, and establish us. I have found myself meditating on this often, remembering that the Lord will continue to be with us even after this specific trial of being in the hospital is over. What an encouragement to know that even in the days ahead, the Lord will be faithful to extend His grace to meet all our needs, whether it's healing from a c-section, caring for a toddler and a baby in the NICU, breastfeeding (yes, that's going to be a trial for me), or finding a new normal/routine for our changing family.

baby update 15

Day 12 in the hospital... This update isn't about the baby so much as it is about me and how I've been processing through everything. I have certainly run through a gamut of emotions while being here in the hospital. There was definitely a time of many, many tears (of self-pity), followed by a time of much anger and frustration over our circumstances. I can't tell you how I have hated being here... constantly being pricked, poked, and prodded. (I have a great fear of needles... I have 5 holes in my arms from different IV sites and have had to have blood drawn several times. I know... I'm a wuss. Even as I'm writing this it doesn't seem so bad compared to what some others have to walk through. But I'll be the first to tell you that I don't suffer well, even with the smallest of things.)

As I have wrestled with the Lord, He has been slowly working in my heart, helping to reveal to me some of the good that has been coming out of this trial. I still cycle through all those emotions at times, and some days are harder than others... I just really and incredibly miss my husband and little boy. And while I long for the comforts of home and the "normalcy" of how life used to be, I have been convicted of how little I have thought about Josiah... that in my craving for comfort and ease, I have forgotten and neglected to think about how there is another little one that God has entrusted to us (and that we prayed for) to care for. Part of it may be the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality, since I can't actually see or hold him yet, but the truth is... he is no less real than William.

As a wonderful friend reminded me, this is God's best for me and Josiah right now. The hospital is the best place I can be for my baby boy to be taken care of, and I am grateful to the Lord for the technology and medical ability to monitor Josiah so closely to be sure that he is faring as well as he can. And as Bill has faithfully and lovingly pointed out, the Lord is calling me to care for my unborn baby, as he is currently in great need, doing everything I can to ensure that he has every chance to be healthy and strong, even at a cost to myself. But isn't that what Christ did for me? At the cost of excruciating pain and suffering and ultimately his life, He went through so much more for my sake, that I could have life... and have it to the fullest. In my shame, I realized that this wretched sinner has much to be grateful for.

Therefore, if this is what the Lord has called me to, then there will be grace provided for everything else...
- As much as I miss Bill, the Lord will provide the grace and strength he needs to care for William, to care for me, to do extra things around the house, and to deal with things at work.
- As much as I miss William, the Lord will provide the grace for him to adjust even though he doesn't fully understand what is going on and why there are so many changes.
- There is grace (and God's kindness) in how people have rallied together to serve us in this difficult time through making meals, going grocery shopping, cleaning our home, helping with painting, running errands, coming to visit me or giving me a phone call, watching William to release Bill to work, calling Bill to check-up on him, etc.
- There is grace in how the Lord is using this to bring Bill and William closer. They definitely have a special bond now that wasn't there before. It is truly very heartwarming to see. And I'm sure this will help with the transition when the baby finally comes home. William will have his relationship with Bill to lean on.
- There is grace in the encouragements and prayers we have received. I am incredibly grateful for the constant reminders of truth and care.
- There is grace in that I am not walking through any physical suffering or pain. I pretty much have not felt any of the contractions that I'm having.
- There is grace in how far along we are in the pregnancy when everything happened. All the doctors say that it is so much better that we began walking through this at 34 weeks instead of say, 24 weeks. It is so close to the end of the pregnancy that the baby has had so much more time to develop and mature than if this had occurred earlier in the pregnancy. I would have had to go on bedrest earlier and the baby's development would have been much more affected early on.
- There is grace in how I am now looking forward to being home with both of my boys. I used to stress and get anxious about how I would care for 2 little ones, but now I am eagerly anticipating us all being together at home. I know it'll be hard, but it's the kind of hard that I would happily welcome and be thankful for.
- There is grace in how we are in the care of good doctors and nurses who are being ever watchful of Josiah's condition. The nurses especially have been so kind.

I am sure I am forgetting or not seeing many more evidences of grace. And I pray that the Lord would help me continue to see them so that I may cultivate a heart of gratefulness, instead of focusing on what I think I deserve. I know that this is something the Lord has ordained for us from before time. And if the Lord has sovereignly planned this, we know and can be assured that He is using this for our good and His glory. The Lord personally designed this trial to be good for us and the best for us. That is a truth that I need cling to... God is ordaining this for good.

baby update 14

Day 11 in the hospital... Good news! The perinatologist did an ultrasound this morning and said that everything looks stable. The fluid levels are the same, but the flow in the umbilical cord and brain have significantly improved. So they will keep the baby cookin' in the oven until the next ultrasound on Tuesday. Tuesday is the "big" day when they will measure the baby for growth. If there is minimal/no growth, they will do a c-section. If there is significant growth, I would imagine they may try to push things to 37 weeks. If they decide to push things, our ob said they would be willing to meet with the perinatologists and us to see what our next steps should be and how much longer we should wait.

The tests for pre-eclampsia came back and were normal, so I'm still just borderline for hypertension. They also have been testing me for diabetes since finding some glucose in my urine. After a 24-hour testing of finger-pricking, they found that my sugar levels were very high, probably b/c I'm just lying around in bed all day. The inactivity was enough to push me over the edge. So they've put me on a diabetes diet until the baby comes. =(

Last night, the ob agreed to put me on intermittent monitoring since my contractions had decreased significantly over the last few days. So I got to sleep without the monitors, which was nice since I have a bit of a nasty rash on my stomach from the gel they've been using for the monitors. In the morning when they put the monitors back on, they had found that my contractions had picked up and that the baby's heart rate had been dipping down, sometimes with the contractions and sometimes on its own. So I'm back on continuous monitoring, which is great that the baby is being watched over. But we are grateful to the Lord for being the ultimate Watcher over our baby boy.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

~ Psalm 139:1-3 ~

baby update 13

Wow... Where do I begin? =) Well, let's see... I have been in the hospital now for 10 days. Seeing that I have a ton of extra time to kill (or to try to redeem)... and seeing that Bill has been super busy, doing a super job I might add, caring for William, working, taking care of the house, and bringing William here (and dinner!) everyday so I can see him... I am going to do my best to share what has been going on before too much else happens and everything becomes a blur. My mind is blurry enough when there's nothing going on. SO, I will be attempting to record all that has happened as I piece together Bill's update emails and the fragments from my own memory. =) Hope it all makes sense...

Last, last Tues, (2/24), we went to see the high-risk ob (perinatologist) for a follow-up appt from my previous visit to the hospital. There, they did an ultrasound and found that the baby has:
- Low birth weight: Josiah appears to be 3.5 pounds, about 4 weeks behind where he should be.
- Low amniotic fluid: Most of this consists of urine, and since Josiah doesn't appear to be getting the nourishment he needs, he's urinating less.
- Doppler: showed that the blood flow in the umbilical cord and brain is minimal. However, the fetal movements are strong, so we should not be worried at this point about developmental issues.
- There was one more thing they measured, but I can't remember what it was at this point.

All these points were at the bottom end of the charts... around the bottom 5% or so. They were all on the edge so that if just one thing got worse, the perinatologist would push for an immediate c-section.

The perinatologist also spoke in a lot of analogies. He's Jewish and reminded Bill of Jesus speaking in parables. He's also really funny and honest, but very caring. (I would highly recommend him to anyone in need of a high-risk ob. We love him.) The two analogies he most often talked about were that this is a war going on, and we're in a safe house right now. But if the war escalates, then it might be time to leave the house. So basically, we are waiting to find the right time to leave the house. The other analogy he used is that we're a giant boulder on the edge of a cliff. We're holding steady for now, but the smallest thing could push us over.

At the time, the perinatologist said his gut feeling was that I'd have to deliver sometime this week, and the baby would have to stay in the NICU for a while. But the max that they would let this go is 37 weeks.

Because my blood pressure was also high, the perinatologist sent me to the hospital right away to get things checked out and to make sure I didn't have pre-eclampsia (pregnancy-induced hypertension).

Our ob decided to keep me overnight for monitoring until all the testing could be done. He wanted to be sure everything was ok before sending me home.

Wednesday, 2/25
Originally, I would have been released on this day, but I began to have contractions late the night before. They put me back on an IV, and the fluids seemed to be slowing them down to 4/hour. But I would not be allowed to leave until the contractions stopped for an hour or 2.

Another ultrasound was done and the baby looked good. We got an amazing view of his face and watched his eyes turn towards the ultrasound instrument that was poking him. The ob also said the blood flow through the umbilical cord was not a consistent thing and with repositioning, the flow would increase, but not up to normal levels.

We had a NICU consult, and it sounded encouraging. He explained the likely risks the baby would experience being pre-term, but said they were all manageable. He even said that if Josiah makes it to 4 pounds and doesn't have any complications, he might go to the nursery instead of the NICU. We're not sure how likely that is, but it's a possibility. Much of the prognosis will depend on Josiah's size ratios after he is born. Assuming there are no developmental/neurological issues, he said Josiah should be able to catch up in 3-6 months.

Thursday, 2/26
Not a ton of new stuff today. My contractions had lessened to about 3-4/half-hour, but I had begun to slightly feel a few of them. My test results also had come back, and I do not have pre-elampsia. However, I have borderline hypertension (high blood pressure).

Friday, 2/27
The perinatologist came today and did another ultrasound. Found that the amniotic fluid decreased from 6.5 mm to 5.0 mm. If it had gone below 5, they would have done a c-section right away. I guess anything below 5 is considered life-threateningly low. However, there was positive blood flow across the umbilical cord. So that was something to be thankful for.

We had a doc come in from our ob practice whom we hadn't met before, and she was an absolute gift from God. She took the time to have us tell her our understanding of what has been going on. And she said she was trying to figure out herself at what point we just go ahead and do the c-section. She was seriously tracking with Bill and speaking his language. He had been struggling/thinking about that all along. So here's what came out of our conversation with her...
- The continued contractions have not affected the baby and his movements are still good.
- My blood pressure is borderline, right below official hypertension. It has been going way up and way down, but if it should increase and stay consistently high, that would be reason to do a c-section regardless of how the baby is doing.
- Normal fluid levels for a pregnancy this far along is somewhere in the teens, measured by millimeters. Right now, we are at 5.0 mm, even with me pounding water and having a continuous IV.
- Reasons why they would do an immediate c-section are if the fluid levels drop below 5, the baby's heart rate drops for a minute or more during a contraction, I go into labor, or if I begin to actively bleed.
- She seemed to agree with the other docs that it probably won't be more than a week, but I will most likely be at the hospital until I deliver.

Tuesday, 3/3
- My blood pressure continued to be all over the place, but not dangerously high yet.

- Over the weekend, my contractions started to pick up and 2 of them caused decelerations in Josiah's heart rate. Our ob came rushing in as that is definitely one of the big things they are keeping an eye on. The baby was able to recover well on his own. In God's kindness, we haven't seen any decelerations (decels) with the contractions since then.

- My contractions were still occurring, but not as regularly as before. They had been pretty up and down... as many as 4/half-hour to 1/hour or two... or sometimes none for an extended period of time, just considered "uterine irritation."

- Due to the decels and blood pressure spikes, the perinatologist wants me to stay at least until next Tuesday (3/10) to see if there is any growth in the baby. He also found that the fluids are up now to 7.5 mm. He also said that the fluids had never gone down to 5, but that he could see why the other doc would think so depending on how she looked at the ultrasound. The good news is that the fluids have increased, which hopefully means that the baby has been receiving more nutrients. God is indeed kind.

- Because of my higher blood pressure spikes, they are doing another 24-hour test for pre-eclampsia.

- The ob that delivered William (via c-section) works on Tuesdays, so she might be bringing in the next Davidson baby, either at 36 or 37 weeks. Next week is 36, and if the baby hasn't been growing well, she said she'd be doing the c-section that day. She even asked me not to eat anything that morning, just in case.

We would love your continued prayers for our family, especially to walk faithfully through what He has for us.

baby update 12

Went in for a routine ob check-up this morning and were thankful, as always, to hear the baby's heartbeat. We talked to the doc about how to schedule a c-section (assuming that nothing unexpected comes up), but will be deciding on the exact date within the next few days after we talk to the high-risk ob tomorrrow. Either way, it looks like we will be having a March baby. =)

Here's a look at what the Lord is doing in our little one at 34 weeks...

By the end of this week, your baby may weigh as much as four pounds and measure 16 inches. As the uterine and abdominal walls stretch and thin, more light reaches the womb, causing him to open and close his eyes in response. It also helps him know day from night so he can cycle between activity and rest.

(pic & info from parenting.com)

baby update 9, 10, & 11

Usually Amy writes our baby updates (and 95% of the rest of the blog), but I will be filling in for her. So you may see some capital letters and grammer/spelling errors this time around.

We've had a roller coaster last few days. I am going to try to write this as it occured (+/- 12 hours/dramatic medical details [I always hear more than Amy, but a mid-road between us is usually about right]). So here goes...

Sunday 02.18.09 (update 9)

Amy got up and went to serve in Discovery Land (a.k.a. Children's Ministry @ CLC). She serves in the class William is usually in, but for one reason or another they have never been in there together. She came home and I was walking out the door to go to the second service, when I started having pretty sharp pains in my stomach... which isn't totally unusual for me.

I decided to stay home at the last minute. After about 30 mins, I was feeling better so I started working a little on William's new room so we can move him before Josiah gets here. Amy came in the room around 12:15 or so and said she was bleeding. Well, turns out she was bleeding a LOT. So she called one of our OB docs and I started calling around to try to find someone to watch William in case they wanted us to go in. The doctor suggested we go to the hospital just to be safe. I finally got a hold of our dear friend, Jane Alam. I called a bazillion people first because Jane had just watched William the day before so Amy & I could go out for a little Valentine's day treat of crepes (sooo good).

So Amy & I were on the way to the hospital. They casually bring us in, telling us they'll take a look and probably send us home.. Maybe an hour. Two hours tops...

After a little while we go down in the labyrinth that is Shady Grove Hospital (our NURSE got totally lost). When we get down to radiology, the sonogram tech begins the usually procedure. She seemed to start to linger longer than expected and look more and more carefully at something. Then she said she was done, but she wanted to talk to the (head?) radiologist and see if he wanted any more pics. So she brought him in and he started directing the tech around -- let me see this... what's that over there... Finally explains that Amy has vesa previa, a pretty rare but very serious condition where blood vessels from the placena are running over the cervix. A situation that, if labor began, has a high mortality rate for the baby and sometimes the mother (some of this I've found out only after the fact).

So they sent us back up to L&D (labor and delivery). The nurse mentioned the diagnosis to our OB as she pushed Amy past her at the front desk. The doc had kind of a blank stare/dropped jaw look and we knew that wasn't so good. After a bit, the doc came into Amy's room and told her that we were going to have to do a c-section the next day and they were going to give her two treatments of steroids to help the baby's lungs mature quicker. He was a day shy of 33 weeks, so he would been a very small preemie. The doc said there was an excellent survival rate for a baby in the 33rd week, so in faith we trusted this was the Lord's will and we'd be doing that on Monday afternoon.

The doc said that there was no reason to think that the diagnosis was not correct and in fact they started the steroid treatments in anticipation, but she said that she called in a 'high-risk' doctor to come verify the diagnosis.

So in that moment, we went into rush mode -- trying to take care of as much stuff as we could as fast as possible. I called my mom who would come up and take care of William and also called our dear friends, the Cooleys, who are in our care group to let eveyone know so they could be praying for us. I also called our pastor a few other folks. The Cooleys, as always, offered to serve us in whatever way possible, so Kelly, even though she was feeling terrible ran out to bring us dinner, visit, and pray with Amy & I (thanks again, Kelly!). I brought William and my mom back to see Amy before he went down for the night.

Finally the specialist came. He did a repeat sonogram, but before he started, he said if the bleeding was in fact from the vesa previa, the bleeding probably wouldn't have stopped and the baby most likely would not have survived that long. The guy was great actually - he did a very extensive sonogram and said he could definitely see why they thought it was vesa previa, but from the lack of blood flow in whatever it was that was above the cervix, he said he was almost certain that it wasn't blood vessel. (Thank God!!) He did say that Amy has both an extra lobe of her placenta (which is ok) and that she has placenta previa... not COMPLETE placenta previa, but with the bleeding, they are going to do a repeat C-section. We've been praying for clarity on what to do this time around, and I believe He has answered that prayer. This is evidently His will!

Monday 02.19.09/Tuesday 02.20.09 (update 10)

They decided to keep Amy overnight to monitor the baby and give her the rest of the steroid treatment in case the bleeding occured again right away so they could be better prepared to do the C-section. We finally got her home around 4:30 or so on Monday. We were grateful that it was a holiday and mom could come up and stay with us overnight and help with William, which he loves... He has STILL been asking for his me-ma when he wakes up from naps and stuff.

Amy has been doing well. All the new bleeding has been stopped since shortly after we got to the hospital,... thank you, Lord.

Her discharge instructions said pretty specifically, "may be up to bathroom. may be up for meals, may shower." So that leaves a lot out.. :)

I have been playing Mr. Mom. Getting used to what Amy does during the day while trying to get some work done. God's definitely stretching me, but I am confident that Romans 8:28 is true, and this is being done for my good.

Wednesday 02.18.09 (update 11)

We went to a follow up visit with the attending OB this morning at the crack of dawn. Ok, I guess it wasn't the crack of dawn, but it surely felt like it... BUT it was SNOWING like crazy, which made me happy, and William loved it. Unfortunately it turned to rain, and it is all gone. :( ... back to the baby: He is doing well. Amy had felt like she had felt less movement, so they did a :30 minute 'stress' test. She tracked his movements by pushing a button and they tracked his heartbeat. They said he is looking good.

We talked about the day for the C-section and she said sometime around March 31, unless Amy starts bleeding again, and then they will do it right away or if the high-risk doctor would say it should be done earlier.

The doctor also said Amy doesn't have to be totally housebound, but we should limit it to only what is really necessary, minimize walking, and no lifting at all (so most shopping is out).

We have been so encouraged and humbled by the amount of care we have received. We have already had folks sign up for 11 meals over the next month and a half (thanks again, Kelly for organizing! And everyone who has signed up). Another friend did grocery shopping for us this morning, and a lot of the ladies in the care group and other friends have been so eager to help us in other ways as well.

A good friend has offered to come paint William's new room on Saturday.

My mom decided she is going to take off Wednesdays to come release me to go into the office for one day a week or do other out-of-the-house necessary excursions.

It goes on and on... We are so grateful to God for all of you. I also wanted to thank our pastor and his wife for coming over Monday night to provide care and pray for us. It really meant a lot -- love the Sheffers!!

So we'll see what the Lord has in store for us over the next month+. Josiah may be here tomorrow or not for another 6 weeks. But either way, it doesn't look like it will go into April Which will be a blessing. I know this has been hard on Amy and William. She can't really do much with him, and it is hard for him to understand. He knows mama has a boo boo in her tummy and it has to do with the baby and she can't pick him up because of it.

Appreciate your prayers! We are amazed by how the Savior has been revealing himself through the sacraficial service our friends and familly. Thanks, everyone.

baby update 8

We went to the ob a couple days ago for another routine check-up and everything seems fine with the baby's heartbeat. So not much to report other than normal pregnancy inconveniences... minor back pain and swelling. We are grateful for this uneventful trip!

Here's a synopsis on what the Lord is doing in our baby boy at 32 weeks...

Your normally energetic baby has started to chill out a bit. His movements feel more like squirms and rolls rather than hyperactive kickboxing sessions. That's because this week, when he's three pounds and 15 inches long, he has begun to run out of room (or should we say womb?). Beneath his skin is a nice layer of fat, and although he still relies on the umbilical cord for nourishment, his digestive tract is almost fully developed. Fetal brain scans show that babies this age actually have rapid eye movements, which means they're dreaming. Who knows what dreams now fill your baby's slumber.

(info & pic from parenting.com)

baby update 7

We went for an ob appt this morning and found out that I DON'T have gestational diabetes this time around! Yipee!! Woohoo!! Bill and I are ever-so grateful for the Lord's mercies! Whenever I think about it, I'm still floored and filled with so much gratitude. Many of you have been faithful to ask me about this, and we are incredibly indebted to you for your prayers and care. THANK YOU!!

We've also been cycling through all the docs at our practice. It's important to meet all of them at least once since you never know who will be delivering you. We've been asking all of them about their thoughts on whether we should do a planned c-section or try a vbac. The feedback we've been receiving is as mixed as the number of docs there. So it's a little difficult sifting through all the different opinions, especially since no one really knows what will happen when the time actually comes to deliver. They are all very careful to not tell me what to do, but none have ruled out or said they wouldn't recommend a vbac. They all seem open to the fact that it's something I could attempt if I wanted to. The doc we spoke to today said that she would not rule out trying a vbac, but the fact that William did not descend at all after 2 hours of pushing was concerning to her. She said it also seemed like my labor curve and how I progressed was very dysfunctional, since it seemed to be more on one extreme of the spectrum, characterized by an extraordinarily slow progression with highly erratic contractions.

I don't know why I explained all that... maybe it's more for my memory, but the basic point is that no one knows what will happen during labor/delivery. I would like to try a vbac b/c that's what makes more sense to my feeble little mind. Generally, the recovery time is faster, and that's just how God made women to deliver babies. So it makes sense to me to try to do it that way. Of course, God has His best planned in all this, and that's what we want to follow. So we would appreciate your prayers about whether the Lord would have us pursue a certain course, or just wait and let things happen. Certainly, we will know more as the pregnancy comes to an end, as much of it still depends on the baby's weight, how he's positioned, how quickly I'm able to progress, how my contractions are going, whether the baby may go into distress, etc. But we would love and be so grateful for your prayers regarding wisdom and trust. Ultimately, God is sovereign, and His will will be done. I can rest in that assurance.

Here's a brief synopsis on what the Lord is doing in our precious baby boy at 30 weeks...

Rock-a-bye baby, indeed--your baby goes to sleep now. When he's not asleep, he's busy making faces, bopping around, hiccuping, and nudging you. He weighs almost three pounds and is about 14 1/2 inches long. He's close to having a fully functioning nervous system that regulates the body, and his nerve fibers are now encased in myelin, which allows impulses to travel faster.

(pic & info from parenting.com)

baby update 6

We went to see the ob this morning and everything seemed fine with the baby. It was a very quick appointment. Other than having slightly swollen hands and legs, the only thing to report is that I had taken my 1-hour glucose test over the holidays and it came up with high sugar levels. So I'll have to take the 3-hour glucose test again within the next couple of weeks. I will find out then whether I have gestational diabetes again or not.

Please pray that the blood tests would come back normal, but also that if they're not, I would be able to find joy in the Lord's will for me and to trust in His ways for me... that they indeed are what is best and good for me. I could definitely see many of the hidden blessings the last time I had gestational diabetes, so it won't be devastating like it was for me the previous time. Even that is something to be incredibly grateful to the Lord for... that I am able to look back in hindsight and see how the Lord had used that for my good, primarily in the area of self-control and eating healthy. (I am such a glutton for food.) =P

I have been slowly going through Genesis and am constantly amazed at Abraham's faith. Don't get me wrong. Abraham definitely was not perfect and made a lot of mistakes when he fell to unbelief, but the faith that he had to have had to believe that the Lord would make him the father of many nations... even though he would never actually get to see that come to fruition... and even trusting in the Lord's promise for an offspring after over 20 years of waiting for Isaac... I want to have faith like that when I am going through hard times. Faith that is able to focus on the character of God and His promises to me, rather than what my feelings or circumstances are telling me. I read in a commentary, "Faith rests on the fact that God is faithful... Faith requires testing if it is to grow... The point of the exercise is to trust God because he has promised, and to act on his word before there is external evidence that he will do as he has said."

So I know it's not the end of the world if I get gestational diabetes. It's not even close. =) And I can trust that the Lord will sustain me, even regardless of whether I am able to recognize it or not. Whether I acknowledge it or not, whether I know it or not, God's character and holy love for me does not change. Of course, I'd prefer to be in the know so that I can more fully understand and appreciate His mercies on me... knowing that I am a sinner in constant (in the sanctification sense of the word) need of a Savior and His sustaining grace in my life. =)

"The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made" (Psalm 145:9).

Anyway, here is a brief synopsis on what the Lord is doing in our baby boy at 27 weeks (We're almost in the 3rd trimester!):

At 13 weeks from birth, your baby is now almost 14 inches from head to toe and tips the scales at a little more than two pounds. He's bulking up with fat to keep him warm after he's born, and his lungs continue to develop. His immune system is also gearing up for life outside the womb. He has discovered thumb sucking, which isn't such a bad thing in the womb--it helps strengthen his cheek and jaw.

(pic & info from parenting.com)

baby update 5

We are happy and relieved to report that everything seems to be progressing well with Baby Davidson. I had been experiencing sharp pains in my lower abdomen a few times in the last couple of weeks, but the nurse and doc said it was probably because I hadn't been drinking enough water. Contractions can be caused by dehydration. He said I should be drinking 3-4 liters of water every day. That's 2 large soda bottles! I can barely do 96 ounces. I don't know how that compares to liters, but I'm pretty sure it's not close to 2 large soda bottles. Anyway, we are thankful that everything seems to be fine with the baby and that he has a strong heartbeat. I'll just have to step-up my intake of water.

The doc also said that my placenta seems to be sitting low in the uterus. So they'll have to keep an eye on it and make sure it moves up as the uterus gets bigger through the pregnancy. It's fine where it is now, but if it moves down, it's possible that it may block the cervix during labor/delivery, which would mean an automatic c-section.

Other than that, I will have to do my glucose testing again sometime before the next ob appointment, which is in 4 weeks. It feels like I just got it done. =( So I would appreciate your prayers that the Lord's will would be done in this.

Can't believe we're more than halfway there!

Here's a brief description of what God is doing in our baby at 23 weeks:

Your baby continues to put on weight, bringing him up to about a pound this week, although with his red, wrinkly, and loose skin he's far from the bonny baby he'll become. Crown to rump, he's between 11 and 12 inches long, and he makes the most of his space inside the womb, kicking back, stretching his arms, and trailing his hands along the umbilical cord. He can hear now and is especially sensitive to loud noises, which can startle him, making his heart thump and his arms flail. He much prefers soothing music or the faint sound of your voice.

(pic & info from parenting.com)

baby update 4

Glad tidings! I guess this news is more about me than the baby... but I had tested positive for the initial glucose testing I took in the last baby update. So this past Monday, I had to take the 3-hour glucose test. (I don't know why you have to do this twice.) I had forgotten that they had to take a pre-test blood sample and then draw blood every hour. By the end of it, the lady actually had to draw blood a total of 5 times. I thought I was going to pass out. (Blood and needles make me sick.) Needless to say, I was ready to just start the diet. My arms were so bruised that they looked like I had spilled ink on them.

Anyway, I got the results back right before Thanksgiving, and my bloodwork all came back normal. Wow! I couldn't believe it since I'm not very good about eating well or exercising. So I don't have gestation diabetes yet! Woohoo! I'll have to get tested again at around 28 weeks, but I am just thankful that I don't have to do any finger-pricking right now. I know, the Lord has been more than kind to me. =) What a blessing and something to be so grateful for!

baby update 3

We went to see the ob today for a check-up and the baby's heartbeat is going strong. We are at 19 weeks right now.

It is still hard to believe that we are going to have another boy. =) For some reason, Bill and I always took it for granted that we would have a boy and a girl, especially since we aren't planning on having too many children. The majority of families we grew up with also have that typical 4-person family composite. God really has a way of mixing things up. =) I just feel a little bad for Bill... I think initially he would have liked a daddy's girl. =( But the Lord has certainly been growing our excitement and hearts to raise and love 2 boys... Two boys who, by God's grace, will one day grow to be godly men, each walking faithfully as they learn how to lead and lay down their lives for others, especially their own families, thereby passing on Truth to another generation. We know this little one is just as precious because He is a gift from God. Children truly are a blessing, whether boys or girls. Lord willing, we may try for a girl. "May" being the key word here. =) It all depends on how wild or crazy this little one turns out to be.

I also took my glucose test, so I will probably find out within the next week whether I have gestational diabetes. If it comes back negative, I will be re-tested again at the normal 26-28 week mark, when they normally test for it. If it comes back positive, I will begin my diet again to see if it can be regulated that way.

Here's a brief synopsis on how our little one is doing now at 19 weeks:

Your mini-gymnast weighs approximately seven ounces and measures approximately nine inches long. His arms and legs are now properly proportioned. The motor neurons between the muscles and the brain are connecting, giving him control over his movements, so he kicks, rolls, and stretches whenever he feels like it. His gums have tooth buds, and throughout his body, rubbery cartilage is turning into bone. Myelin, a protective substance, envelops the spinal cord.

(pic & info from parenting.com)

baby update 2

It's a...

BOY!!!

We found out (pretty definitively) that we're having another boy. =) But most importantly, the sonographer said that the baby looks healthy and neuro-typical. So we are incredibly thankful to the Lord for providing us with another healthy baby boy to steward and love.

baby update 1

I had an ob check-up yesterday. The doc just listened for the baby's heartbeat and said everything sounded fine. I will have to get my glucose testing done in a few weeks to see if I have gestational diabetes. And we should find out the sex of the baby around the middle of next month. Exciting times!

Here's a brief synopsis on how Baby Davidson is doing now at 15 weeks:

Your baby weighs about 1 3/4 ounces and measures between 4 1/2 inches from crown to rump. Fine, downy hair (called lanugo), which he'll shed before birth, grows on his body. Hair is sprouting on top of his head, too, although whatever color it is may change. His eyebrows have begun to fill in. Your baby hiccups, but he can't yet make a sound because his trachea is still filled with fluid, not air. The intestinal tract continues to develop.

(pic & info from parenting.com)

baby news

Bill and I are so excited to share with you, by God's grace and blessing, that we are expecting another baby! I am at 11 weeks now. Because we had issues with spotting early on, we shared the news with some friends and family to ask for prayer support. In God's kindness, the spotting seems to have stopped and with the first trimester almost over, we thought it appropriate to share the news openly, especially since I'm already visibly showing. =)

We would appreciate and be grateful for your ongoing prayers for the rest of the pregnancy. My due date is April 7. =) The Lord certainly has been good to us. We are truly reveling in this miracle of creation, who will bear the image of God Himself. Only He could create a wonderful new life. And we are quite excited to meet this little one, as well as to have William meet him/her!

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

what a Savior! (part 3/3)

This is the third of three parts of the story of "William - week 1, see below for parts 1 & 2".

So why did I write all this? What was the purpose of all the details, besides journaling it just to remember? One reason: to exalt and extol our Savior! It was so comforting to know that through ALL of this, our greatest needs had been met! I knew if anything was to happen to Amy she would join the Savior in heaven. If you know me well, you would know that I struggle with anxiety. It is probably my biggest weakness – unbelief. As it says in Hebrews, ‘without faith, it is impossible to please God.’ How amazing is it – without faith it is impossible to please God. Without God it is impossible to have faith! With God, this trial, however difficult it was, I was not overwhelmed by anxiety. I was met - met by my Lord. He soothed my soul, carried me through, and strengthened me so that I could care for Amy and William during this week.

Within all these details – most contained an opportunity for catastrophe… I also can now see I was being prepared for this week for the last 4 years. When my dad got cancer and I spent countless days in the hospital and at home caring for him – it was preparing me to practically live at a hospital and care for someone I love again. When I faced many sleepless nights the past 3 or 4 months in what was probably anxious anticipation of this coming time, I was being prepared for sleepless nights caring for William, and being fed by encouraging words from my wife, dear friends, pastors (and other pastors’ families), and from the writings of men like Charles Spurgeon to further strengthen and prepare me.

This was one of the hardest things I have ever done, if not THE hardest. It was emotional, physically, and spiritually trying. Yet I was never alone, not for one second. I knew that He who saved me did not leave me to face trials like this on my own. He poured out His Spirit upon me and surrounded me with love from other co-heirs in Jesus. Amy, William, and I were carried on hearts and lifted up in prayer by so many. If you are reading this, you probably prayed for us. Thank you. Thank you for caring enough about my family to petition the Lord on our behalf. We are blessed to have the relationships we do. We are humbled and grateful. Amazed by grace. If it was even 10 or 15 years ago, I could have lost either Amy or William or both. Do I have modern medicine or luck to thank? No I am a debtor to Mercy.
Thank you, Lord.

what a week… (part 2/3)

This is the second of three parts of the story of "William - week 1".

After the various challenges with William’s birth, we figured it was going to be smooth from here on out. Again, our plans and preferences were put aside. It is hospital policy for any baby that is born to a mom that has an infection, to go to the NICU (neo-natal intensive care). The infection caused what they call chorioamnionitis. That is an inflammation caused by an infection in the amniotic sac. Amy was immediately put on two extremely powerful antibiotics while she was in the recovery room from the surgery. Her fever immediately began to break (praise God!). I was too exhausted and concerned about Amy to even try to give much thought to what was happening with William. My brain hurt. I was wiped out – but I had to be there for Amy. As she woke up we explained to her that William was in the NICU and would probably be there for a few days. Once again our birth plan was getting chucked. We had planned on one of us being with him wherever he went (me accompanying him to the nursery if he had to go, etc.) and for him to room-in with Amy 24 hours a day. That was not going to happen. Additionally, it is NICU policy that no one can enter the unit who has had a fever in the last 24 hours. So it was going to be at least a day before Amy could see him!

Finally Amy was stable and moved to postpartum care. There she was rooming with another lady who had her baby roomed-in. I can imagine that was a struggle for her to hear that happening right next door. But she did well. The nurses said I could go down and see William if I wanted to. So I grabbed my video camera and headed down. I was so glad I had it. We had been shooting little conversations for William when he grew up while Amy was pregnant. That was a lot fun and I think he’ll enjoy it one day.

Once in the NICU I immediately felt a strong sense of gratitude as I saw so many babies that were in much worse shape than William. TINY babies. William was the big kid on the block at 7.5 pounds and 20 ¾ inches! It was hard seeing him lying there with the IV board taped to his arm and all the monitor leads, but it was amazing to see him alive and having survived the past 2 days. I took lots of video to bring back to his momma. I think it really warmed Amy’s heart to at least see video of him since she wasn’t able to go down there herself. When I got home that night I only had energy to do two things: 1) send out an email to a few people with his picture, because I was so excited. And 2) Print that same picture of him to tape next to Amy’s bed to encourage her until she could be with him.


The next day, finally Amy was going to see him! After being apart for 24 hours, we were greatly anticipating trying to do one more thing on her birth plan – breastfeed him. We loaded Amy up on a wheelchair and made our way to the NICU. While on the way down there, she started shivering really bad again. (I hated that!) It got worse as we got there and she tried to feed him. Figuring she was just cold, they brought over a heat lamp which seemed to help. The feeding was difficult. She had no energy to hold him and she was shaking so bad. What a trooper though, she stuck with it for a lot longer than I could have! Finally after shear exhaustion we went back to the room.

After getting Amy back into bed, the nurse came around for her vitals. Her fever had returned. That was a horrible feeling. We felt like it was finally over, the infection was in check, but it wasn’t. So they returned to giving her large doses of ibuprofen along with her antibiotics and pain meds. That was working well, however due to the fever returning; again Amy was barred from the NICU for 24 hours. Another day separated from her new baby. And another day of me running back and forth between my wife and my son... both sick in the hospital. (I had it good in comparison!)

Finally 24 hours later, it seemed as the infection was under control with Amy. Now we only had one patient in a critical position (again, thank you Lord!). During that time though, William’s blood sugar began to drop. Amy had gestational diabetes that can present some risk for the newborn to have lower blood sugar levels at and shortly after birth. That being the case, the NICU doctors wanted to give William formula. One more thing from the birth plan – NO formula! Well, we didn’t have much choice, he needed to be stabilized so we told them to go ahead.

The sugar was under control. William was now getting his IV fluids, formula and antibiotics. After the 24-hour point, Amy was allowed back in and we started trying to breastfeed him. She was still pretty tired from the whole ordeal and he had been getting formula, so it was a challenge. Also at this point we started to get some feedback from the doctors in the NICU. They informed us that they believe he has sepsis – a serious infection in his bloodstream. It is hard to medically ‘prove’, but it was presenting that way. So unfortunately, instead of a 3-day stay in NICU, it was going to be a 7-day stay. We also found out that Amy was going to be discharged on Friday night, so we’d be able to go home, while he would stay… making breastfeeding pretty difficult. This was discouraging, but we went home Friday to try to allow Amy to get a good night's sleep to help her recover.

Upon returning to the hospital on Saturday, they let us know they may have a room in the pediatric ward where Amy and the baby could stay together. While this made recovery more difficult for Amy – she would not be able to sleep as well, at least we could be with William and try to breastfeed. We spent 3 long days in the peds room, William in his bassinet. Amy in the hospital bed, and me on a 4 foot long bench. A tight squeeze.

The next to last day in the room, the baby’s IV, which had been moved to his head (yuck!) had gotten infiltrated – the fluid from the IV was seeping outside of the vain and blew up under his skin like a little balloon over his ear. Of course, that was a little scary, since he had extra fluid floating around in his head – not where I would prefer to have extra fluid. Fortunately it was only the IV flush, as they said the antibiotics would have burned him pretty severely. He only had one and a half treatments left, so they decided to just inject it into his legs. While that probably was more painful for him, it was better than trying to start another IV. Last time it took over an hour for them to insert the IV in his head. Normal healthy babies have too much fat to be able to get to a vain easily, so the easiest place to find veins are in their heads.

Finally with treatment done, and the clear-to-go from the NICU RN, it was time to go home! (Praise God!!)

…to be concluded…

what a birth... (part 1/3)

First I want to say – William is born! It is a miracle! The gift of a new life to a family is incomprehensible and indescribable. That being said, as promised in my birth announcement email, I am going to attempt to chronicle William’s birth and first week of life outside of the womb. It seems all kind of fuzzy now. Amazingly it is almost a month ago, but yet some of it seems like just yesterday. It’s a long story, so here we go.

You know what they say about best laid plans…

We had much anticipation and planning done for William’s birth day. Amy had read all the books and wrote a nice big birth plan. We had gone to the OBs and as Amy was showing signs of preparation for baby’s arrival we thought it was going to be early. For some reason I had thought it in my mind that it was going to be November 3rd since the first or second month of the pregnancy. Well November 3rd came and went…

On November 7th, our OB decided if William had not come by the 14th they were going to induce. So we knew the end of the pregnancy was coming one way or another. In Amy’s birth plan, she did NOT want to get pitocin, the medicine most commonly used to induce. So we prayed that William would come on time to avoid the need for pitocin. Well sure enough, on Saturday contractions began. They weren’t well established until Sunday at 10:00pm, so that’s when labor finally really began.

The morning of Monday the 13th, as Amy wrote in our previous blog entry, the OB said we may make it with a natural child birth before any induction was needed. By around 10:30pm, after about a day of strong contractions, we prayed and asked God to give us wisdom on how to proceed as I was getting concerned about Amy going through another night like Sunday night where she was only sleeping about 5-6 minutes at a time between contractions. It seemed clear to us that it was time to go to the hospital. We called our moms and my mom beat us to the hospital from Annapolis and Amy’s mom followed shortly thereafter.

Things continued to progress normally through Tuesday early, early morning, Although, as the pain increased, Amy’s next birth plan preference was quickly passing – her desire not to have an epidural. This lead to several other preferences that were quickly overruled, including being mobile, not having an IV, and minimal fetal monitoring.

After the anesthesiologist got the epidural all set up, Amy’s water broke. That’s when things got a little crazy. After several hours had passed with contractions that were fairly consistent, her contractions become very strong. Which is a good thing, right? Usually… Except in this situation, William’s heart started going into tachycardia, which means his heart rate was shooting way up dangerously high with each contraction. Quickly the nurses brought in a medication to slow things down. At this point Amy started shaking really, really bad. (NOTE to soon-to-be-dads: they say this is “common”. It would have been great to have known that. It was pretty scary!)

Well, remember her desire not to have pitocin? It was back in play. Amy was having decelerations – time when her contractions would slow down and get irregular again. So the medical staff decided it was time to try pitocin to get her going again. So, contractions returned to a more regular interval and strength. The nurses also decided it was time to start pushing. William was engaged at -1, which meant he was in the birth canal and just had to descend. The OB reduced the amount of epidural Amy was receiving so she could feel the contractions and begin pushing. This was extremely painful for her. TWO hours later, William was making little progress even though Amy was doing a great job of pushing!

Slowly William’s heart rate increased and was outside the norm. And then again, he went back into tachycardia during contractions. So we were back to the other medication to slow things down again. The doctor finally popped in and made her assessment. As she was walking out she said quietly to me that she thought it may be time to do a C-section. Next thing we know a nurse comes in to prepare Amy for the surgery. She really didn’t know what was going on, but she looked over at me, and I tried to reassure her that this was the best and really our only option. It was REALLY hard, because I know how much she didn’t want to have a C-section and how much she had already been through. It was past the 39th hour of labor! Also sometime during all this, Amy’s temperature shot up to 103 degrees. I have no idea when, things were starting to get real fuzzy from all the complications and lack of sleep.

In faith, we moved forward. I don’t remember much of this time except for changing into scrubs and getting ready to go in with her. We prayed, and at this point I think my mind stopped and my soul took over and I could just pray, “God help us.” That’s all I had at that time. It was all I needed though. Our sovereign, omniscient Lord knew all that was on my heart and what was happening with Amy and the baby.

As we got into the OR, immediately we saw more of Amy’s birth plan going out the window. Even the smallest details, like Amy not wanting her arms strapped down for the surgery were not going according to our plan. She was shaking so bad from the fever and exhaustion that they had to do it. It was very difficult to see that happen – it was such a small detail in the larger scope of things, but it reminded me how much we are at God’s mercy in this life. She was totally helpless on the operating table. Numb from the chest down and strapped in, in the hands of surgeons now, being directed by the Great Physician. Again, I prayed, “God help us.” And he did.

About 10 minutes after the initial incision, I heard a loud cry. Through teary eyes I looked over the sheet that protected the surgical field and blocked our vision as the doctor lifted our son for us to see. It was amazing. Can’t explain it, like nothing else I have ever experienced. This new life to love was finally outside of Amy. And more importantly, this ordeal that was now threatening Amy’s life was beginning to come to a conclusion.

I was able to watch William be weighed in and they gave them to me to hold. I immediately brought him to Amy and tried to hold him up for her to see before she passed out from exhaustion. We both shed tears of joy, thanking God for what he had done. It was really a challenge for me to be the first to hold him, Amy wanted to hold him immediately, and was not able. Strapped to a table, immobilized by medication, she could only look. Quickly I gave him back to the medical staff to finish their initial care of him. Since Amy’s temperature shot up during labor, it was assumed he had an infection. One other complication was that there was meconium present in the amniotic fluid, so there was a fear that he would have inhaled some of it due to the infection. Infections can cause gasping in utero and upon delivery. Thankfully, it seemed like he was breathing well. He got a very high Apgar score, a measurement of the baby’s initial health (one thing went ‘right!’).

This was the first day of a tough week at the hospital for both Amy and William…

to be continued…

week 40

This morning, the ob said that I am about 90% effaced and 2.5 cm dilated. Yea! I started having light contractions on Saturday, and they have steadily become more intense up into today. This afternoon, they have consistently been about 7 minutes apart. When they are 3 minutes apart, we will head to the hospital. Should the contractions wane, I will still be induced tomorrow morning, but the doc said the induction should be easy since I've already gotten started. Please keep us in your prayers over the next 24 hours, especially for perseverance, strength, and protection against exhaustion. I am pretty tired now, but William will be here sometime within that time frame, more or less. And we can't wait to meet him! =)