heart of anger (book quote 10)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo, on manipulation...

To manipulate is to attempt to control.  For a Christian, manipulation is using unbiblical means of controlling or influencing another person.  More specifically, it is often an attempt to gain control of another individual or situation by inciting an emotional reaction rather than a biblical response from that individual.

[In the example of Mary and Martha...]  Martha wanted, perhaps too much, assistance with her food preparations and was frustrated that her sister left her to do all the serving by herself.  Rather than telling the Lord exactly what she wanted (help with the cooking), she attempted to play on His emotions (sympathy and perhaps guilt).  "Do you not care?"... she was attempting to motivate someone to fulfill her personal desires... without clearly stating them.  An appeal for sympathy, rightly expressed, is not necessarily wrong as long as the true desire behind such an appeal is also expressed (in this case Martha's desire for help) (p. 125).

heart of anger (book quote 9)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo...

To manipulate is to attempt to control.  For a Christian, manipulation is using unbiblical means of controlling or influencing another person.  More specifically, it is often an attempt to gain control of another individual or situation by inciting an emotional reaction rather than a biblical response from that individual (p. 125).

heart of anger (book quote 8)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo...

The best evidence that a Christian desires (loves) something more than he desires (loves) God, is his willingness to sin against God, either in order to acquire that desire or because he cannot acquire it.  "If ye love Me keep My commandments," Jesus said (John 14:15).  One of the most common sins that demonstrates the presence of inordinate desire is anger.  By having an angry child identify biblically the kind of sin that is associated with his anger, a parent can help him correct his anger not simply externally (i.e. temper tantrums, sarcasm, fighting, etc.) but internally (idolatry:  love of pleasure, love of money, love of praise, etc.) in his foolish heart, where the anger resides (p. 107, some emphases mine). 

home...

Just wanted to post some thoughts that have been bringing much peace on the eve of our bankruptcy hearing.  These are thoughts that I've been meditating on since our bankruptcy journey has started, especially in knowing that we would not be able to purchase our own home anytime within the next few years... at least.  That definitely took some wrestling through with the Lord... that dream of owning a single family home with a big yard for the boys to play in, a place where you can be hospitable and not worry about limited space, a place where you can just come to rest, put your feet up, and just be yourself... knowing that this is the place where people love you the most no matter how sinful you are, a place that is secure, safe, comforting, warm, inviting, loving... that's a home (to me).  =)

But having to come to terms with the possibility that we may never own our own home (since we have no idea how long the market will be the way it is or how long it will actually take for us to recover our credit.  Only the Lord knows these things as He holds our future in His hands.), really forced me to ask myself why this meant so much to me.  Why did I have this specific picture of what a home looks like?  Why was I thinking that I would feel a sense of completion when I attained this kind of a "home?"  And what does it mean if things don't turn out that way?  I quickly realized that wanting a place to call home is not sinful in and of itself.  God has given us a desire to call somewhere home... to be known and loved... to be home somewhere...

As I considered all this, I was so grateful for the Lord's reminder that my true home in fact, is not here.  My citizenship is not here.  Home is in Heaven with Him, where He has prepared a place for me.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ...

Philippians 3:20

In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

John 14:2-3

And if on this earth, I never have a place I can really call "home," I am grateful for the opportunity to be reminded over and over again that I have a better home to one day look forward to.  It's not time yet to kick my feet up and rest.  =)  As long as I am given breath, the Lord has work for me to do.  So I want to do it gratefully, knowing that I have a heavenly home to look forward to, where my gracious and loving Father is also.  And I thank God for the opportunity to also point my sons to the tangible fact that their ultimate home is not here either.  Wherever God leads us, it's home b/c He's there with us.  Not because we have a certain kind of home that looks a certain way.

No matter how things go tomorrow, we know that the only thing they can take from us is "stuff."  And though that would be hard to lose our physical possessions, we know we will always retain what is of infinite and eternal value... our standing as forgiven children of God.  In light of this, knowing that we are not only forgiven, but also adopted into God's family as co-heirs with Christ, we have been very grateful for this opportunity to keep our eyes heavenward and to live by faith.  So whether we have a physical dwelling we would like to call home, Home is ultimately where God leads us, eventually to that final destination where He has already prepared a place for us.

heart of anger (book quote 7)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo...

The goal of all this training in righteousness is to develop within your child the ability and desire to bring captive every thought to the obedience of Christ (1 Cor. 10:5).  As your child learns to speak the truth in his heart (Psalm 15:2) as a matter of habit, he will gain more control over his spirit (Prov. 25:28, 16:32).  In Romans 12:2 Paul explains that a Christian is totally transformed by the renewing of his mind.  The process whereby this spiritual metamorphosis occurs takes place largely beneath the surface in the heart of each believer.  You have not done enough if you simply teach your child simply how to behave as a Christian.  Your responsibility as a Christian parent is to teach your child how to think and be motivated as a Christian, for only thereby can change in behavior be efficacious to the glory of God (p. 95, some emphases mine).

school stuff...

After many months of wanting to set aside some time each day to do something academic with William, 2 good friends of mine helped point me to some really basic workbooks to start with.  They are so basic and fun that William LOVES when we do our school stuff.  (Thanks, Kelly and Danielle!!)

I wouldn't really call what we're doing "school" just yet, since it's not math or reading or anything like that.  But the skills he's learning are all things that he will do/use in school eventually.  So they have been great foundational skills for him.  Two of the workbooks help him with his fine motor control using cutting, applying stickers, and pasting.  The other one deals with the very basics of writing, focusing on holding the pencil properly and learning to draw lines, semi-circles, circles, diagonal lines, etc. as a precursor to writing letters.  I can't emphasize how much William loves doing these workbooks.  They are bright, colorful, and animated.  William looks forward to doing them every day, and we do our school stuff after we do our scripture memory.

I just discovered that they have workbooks for coloring and folding paper that I may get.  He could use some help with coloring, as evidenced from the coloring sheets we get from Discovery Land (our children's ministry) that are just briefly scribbled in one color.  =)  Love, love, love being able to be a part of my boy's learning and watching him grow as he learns new skills.  As I watched him cutting and writing, I could totally picture him in school cutting, pasting, coloring, and working on an assignment.  It made me wonder once again where all the time has gone.  The days of having my William at home with me will soon be gone (unless we decide to homeschool, which at this point seems unlikely).  Am just working hard to treasure these days with him, as I know they are numbered.  Sigh...

heart of anger (book quote 6)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo...

A four-step process to help parents teach their children how to identify and correct sinful expressions of anger (paraphrase):

Step 1.  Identify the circumstantial provocation of the anger
Question 1 - What happened that provoked me to anger?  (What circumstances led to my becoming angry?) is a diagnostic question whose purpose is to help your child understand what things lead to his/her becoming angry.

Step 2.  Describe the outward manifestations of the anger
Question 2 - What did I say and/or do when I became angry?  (How did I respond to the anger-provoking circumstances?) is to help your child recall the fullness of his/her angry response.  By specifying the details of an angry response, your child can see his words and actions in black and white.

Step 3.  Evaluate biblically the exact nature of the anger
Question 3 - What does the Bible say about what I said or did when I became angry?  (What is the biblical terminology for what I said or did when I became angry?) will help your child appreciate God's perspective regarding his angry response.

A problem cannot be solved biblically until it is diagnosed using biblical terminology.

Step 4.  Develop a biblical response to the circumstantial provocation
Question 4 - What should I have said/done when I became angry?  (How could I have responded biblically when I became angry?) is essential to the training of your child to respond to future provocations in a righteous manner.

This is perhaps the most important step in that it is the step where correction and disciplined training in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16) can most effectively be emphasized.  As your child sincerely considers various alternative biblical responses, he not only demonstrates repentance, but also prepares for future provocations (temptations) by exercising himself for the purpose of godliness (1 Tim. 4:7).

scripture memory...

For a while now, I have been wanting to do scripture memory with William, but just didn't really know how to go about it.  We had been randomly teaching him Ephesians 6:1, but it was more from us just repeating it over and over again that William was able to memorize it.  By random, I mean using it during teaching moments, which is great, but I was looking for something more structured and systematic.  I wanted to set aside some time in our day to spend on hiding God's Word in his heart (and mine as well). I had tried it a long time ago by writing the verse on large paper in large print and just reading it over and over again, but it only made him frustrated because I was focusing too much on the words and pointing out each one.  (No, he can't read... so yes, I'm an idiot.  Don't know how I ever became a teacher.)  Anyway, I wanted to do it systematically, but needed a method that I could use with toddlers who are obviously not reading yet.   

In God's great kindness, He led me to some older posts written in a Mom's Corner that I subscribe to.  It had some wonderful ideas on doing scripture memory for all ages.  So I was able to glean some great ideas on how to work on it with William.  I basically write the entire verse on a white board and break it up into little segments.  On the first day, we'll memorize the first segment by saying it 5 times.  I'll say it 5 times.  And then I have William say it in sets of 5 until he says one set perfectly.  And then throughout the day, I'll ask him to recite his memory verse to review it.  Then the next day, I'll ask William to recite what we memorized the day before.  If he has a hard time reciting it, then we'll just review it again the way we did the day before and not move on.  (We have not had to do this yet.)  If he can recite it perfectly, we'll move on to the next segment... saying the 2nd segment 5 times perfectly, and then combining the segments together and saying them 5 times perfectly.  It definitely gets harder with the more segments you memorize, and William definitely can get frustrated at times.  But it's a great opportunity to teach him to persevere and to be patient, as he works diligently.  (Sorry about the detail, but it's more for my memory than anything else.)  =)

We've been doing it for about a week or so now, and William LOVES it.  He always looks forward to when we're going to do scripture memory and will ask me throughout the day when we're going to be able to do it (we're not actually able to get to it every day).  I am grateful and encouraged and amazed at how much he enjoys these times, especially how easily his little brain can commit God's Word to memory.  I really love these times with him and pray that the Lord will use His Word to bear in his life.

The Mom's Corner discusses scripture memory in detail, including rehearsing family verses after their meal-time grace and Bible copying, both of which I hope to eventually include in our day or during our scripture memory time.  (One obviously sooner than the other.)  =)  In case you're interested, here are the posts I mentioned:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

heart of anger (book quote 5)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo, on practicing biblical communication...

A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind (Prov. 18:2).

Confessing one's sin to an offended brother is not simply an option for a Christian (James 5:16, Matt. 5:21-26), it is a command that you must follow if restoration is to occur.  Use of biblical terminology is important in the identification of a transgression if the child is going to "put-off" the old man and "put on" the new (see Col. 3:8-10 and Eph. 4:22-25).  "What I said was disrespectful, unkind and scornful" for example.  This biblical confession will also help train the child to evaluate behavior from God's perspective rather than man's.  Which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual (thoughts) with spiritual (words) (1 Cor. 2:13) (p. 70, some emphasis mine).

not that i chose thee...

Bill shared this hymn with me, which is actually at the beginning of the Jesus Storybook Bible.  In light of William's confession of faith, it was a great reminder of God's sovereign, enabling grace, especially for our precious boy...

          "Lord, 'Tis Not that I Did Choose Thee"

                          by Josiah Conder, 1789-1855

                                  Text From:

                       THE HANDBOOK TO THE LUTHERAN HYMNAL

                (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1942) p.32

                                       

        1. Lord, 'tis not that I did choose Thee;

        That, I know, could never be;

        For this heart would still refuse Thee

        Had Thy grace not chosen me.

        Thou hast from the sin that stained me

        Washed and cleansed and set me free

        And unto this end ordained me,

        That I ever live to Thee.

        2. 'Twas Thy grace in Christ that called me,

        Taught my darkened heart and mind;

        Else the world had yet enthralled me,

        To Thy heavenly glories blind.

        Now my heart owns none above Thee;

        For Thy grace alone I thirst,

        Knowing well that, if I love Thee,

        Thou, O Lord, didst love me first.

        3. Praise the God of all creation;

        Praise the Father's boundless love.

        Praise the Lamb, our Expiation,

        Priest and King enthroned above.

        Praise the Spirit of salvation,

        Him by whom our spirits live.

        Undivided adoration

        To the great Jehovah give.

by grace, through faith.

Tonight was one of those nights that changes everything.

After dinner, William asked me, "does Jesus need to sleep?"  I replied, "no - he has a resurrection body now that doesn't get tired... When you go to heaven you get a new body that doesn't need sleep."  William replied, "I want to go to heaven."  I told him that in order to go to heaven you have to ask Jesus into your heart.  We spoke briefly about what that means and since we've been sharing the gospel with him often, I think he actually 'got it.'

Usually when we ask William if he wants to ask Jesus into his heart, he says something like, "Yes.  But not today."  Well tonight was different.  He excitedly said "yes."  I said "tonight?"  He said, "yes!"  I kind of froze for a moment trying to figure out what to do next.  So Amy, Josiah, William and I gathered in the bathroom (not sure why we ended up there) and sat down and prayed.  William acknowledged that he was a sinner and needed a savior.  That his sin separated him from God and that Jesus' death on the cross was the only way he could be saved.  He asked the Lord to come dwell in his heart, and to turn his heart of stone into a heart of flesh.

It was one of the most joyful moments we've experienced as parents.  Of course after we were done and finished bible reading time, I had to explain to William the doctrine of election and remind him that he didn't choose Jesus, but that Jesus chose him.  Loved talking theology with my little man.  He may have got some of it... :)

When Amy came in she was talking about the fact that the Holy Spirit (in addition to God and Jesus) also is in William's heart.  And he responded, "who's that guy?" :)  Good stuff.   Lots to learn, and we do pray for fruit.   After she left and William and I sat down to do our nightly prayers, I explained (or re-explained) what it meant to be a "Christian".   After running through family members who we knew to be Christians, we got to Josiah, and I told him that we can't be sure.  (Of course, only God knows about the status of anyone's soul.)  He said "can we pray that Josiah would become a Christian too?" and I said of course!  And we did.

Amazing night. It will be fun to watch our little man grow in the Lord.

heart of anger (book quote 4)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo, on discipline, training, and correcting...

The Gumnazo Principle [1 Tim. 4:7] maintains that you haven't disciplined a child properly until you have brought him to the point of repentance by requiring him to practice the biblical alternative to sinful behavior.  This would involve not just asking forgiveness for the disrespect, not just identifying the sin by name (two essential steps in biblical discipline); but also by responding with a respectful alternative to the disrespect using the appropriate words, tone of voice, and non-verbal communication.  

Imagine what it would be like trying to teach your son how to tie a double Windsor in his necktie or trying to teach your daughter how to make and roll out a pie crust without the Gumnazo Principle.  At some point, unless you have unlimited time and resources, you would have to stop the process of verbal instruction and show your child how to correct a mistake.  If the gumnazo principle is vital for teaching such relatively simple and temporal tasks, how much more is it necessary for teaching the application of eternal truth and the development of Christ-like character.

... biblical discipline involves correcting wrong behavior by practicing right behavior, with the right attitude, for the right reason, until the right behavior becomes habitual (p. 65-66, emphases mine).

heart of anger (book quote 3)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo, on the 3 parts of communication...

Words  If there is ever a time when a believer ought to premeditate what he is going to say, it is in those circumstances when he is most likely to become angry.  When a man is angry (or experiencing other intense emotions), he is at greatest risk of sinning with his words.  Children must be taught to choose their words carefully, especially when a problem exists that makes them angry [or provokes them to anger]: 

     "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer" (Prov. 15:28).

     "The heart of the wise teaches his mouth and adds learning to his lips" (Prov. 16:23).

Tone of Voice

     "A soft answer turns away wrath" (Prov 15:1).

     "Sweetness of the lips increases persuasiveness" (Prov. 16:21).

It is not enough for us to choose the right words.  We must say the right words in a tone that is appropriate.  

Children probably provoke their parents to anger more quickly by being disrespectful than by any other behavior.  Yet, it is more often the tone of voice of the child rather than the words that communicates disrespect.  Disrespect, of course, is not the only attitude communicated by tone of voice.  For instance, rage, bitterness, vengeance, shame, fear and other attitudes that are often present along side of anger are often communicated by inflection (p. 56).  

Non-verbal Communication  [This] includes facial expressions (countenance), gestures, eye contact, posture, spatial relationship and touch (when appropriate) (p. 57).

Changing facial expressions is probably the most difficult aspect of communication to correct.  This is true largely because we are often unaware of what our countenance is doing at any moment...  Therefore we must rely on feedback from others to help us fine tune our non-verbal communication.  Consequently, children need their parents' feedback in learning how to express their thoughts in times of anger (p. 59).

heart of anger (book quote 2)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo, on scolding...  This brought much conviction because I struggle with this so much.

In his book, Hints on Child Training, first published in 1891, H. Clay Trumbull... explains...  "To 'scold' is to assail or revile with boisterous speech.  The word itself seems to have a primary meaning akin to that of barking or howling.

Scolding is always an expression of a bad spirit and of a loss of temper... the essence of the scolding is in the multiplication of hot words in expression of strong feelings that, while eminently natural, ought to be held in better control.

If a child has done wrong, a child needs talking to; but no parent ought to talk to a child while that parent is unable to talk in a natural tone of voice, and with carefully measured words.  If the parent is tempted to speak rapidly, or to multiply words without stopping to weigh them, or to show an excited state of feeling, the parent's first duty is to gain entire self-control.  Until that control is secured, there is no use of the parent's trying to attempt any measure of child training.  The loss of self-control is for the time being an utter loss of power for the control of others.

In giving commands or in giving censure to a child, the fewer and the more calmly spoken words the better.  A child soon learns that scolding means less than quiet talking; and he even comes to find a certain satisfaction in waiting silently until the scolder has blown off the surplus feeling which vents itself in this way.  There are times, indeed, when words may be multiplied to advantage in explaining to a child the nature and consequences of his offense, and the reasons why he should do differently in the future; but such words should always be spoken in gentleness, and in self-controlled earnestness.  Scolding - rapidly spoken censure and protest, in the exhibit of strong feeling - is never in order as a means of training and directing a child" (p. 33-34, emphases mine).

heart of anger (book quote 1)

The new parenting book that I've started reading is The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo.  I am very eager to read this since this seems to be an area of sin that the boys struggle with, especially Josiah... and I also have that selfish hope that I can glean something helpful for myself since this is my big sin struggle, as well.

Priolo outlines a 5-step process in the development of rebellion in a child.  I thought it was very interesting...

A wounded spirit (or feeling hurt)  Proverbs 18:14 states, "A wounded spirit who can bear?"  The first step in this stairway to destruction often is a sense of hurt that is spawned by an offense, whether real or perceived.  Parents do something (usually involving sin, but not necessarily) to the child whose mental and emotional response produces hurt.  This hurt is the seed that germinates and grows into a root of bitterness (Heb. 12:15).

Bitterness is the second step on the stairway.  If the child does not respond biblically to the hurt (this would involve either forgiving the sin (Lk. 17:3), "overlooking" the sin (Prov. 19:11, 1 Pet. 4:8), or realizing that the "offense" was not wrong), he will begin to rehearse the offense in his mind, reviewing it over and over again.  This practice of continually reviewing and imputing the offense not only violates 1 Corinthiains 13:5 (love does not keep a running account of evil), but also cultivates the seed of hurt that matures into a "root of bitterness" (Heb. 12:15). Consequently, this root of bitterness may defile others in the family.

Anger is the third step.  This is the kind of anger about which the Bible warns fathers not to provoke their children.  Such anger is not simply a momentary explosion that quickly dies down.  Rather, it is characterological anger...  This is anger that has become so habitual that it becomes characteristic of the child's personality.  "Do not associate with a man (given) to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Lest you learn his ways, And find a snare for yourself" (Prov. 22:24, 25).  You as a parent, of course, cannot disassociate with your angry child, but this verse may serve as a reminder of just one of the biblical consequences which result from characterological anger...

Stubbornness (insubordination) is the fourth step.  "Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry" (1 Sam. 15:23).  This step immediately precedes full-blown rebellion.  The picture of stubbornness here is that of a backsliding heifer pushing her front hooves into the ground to counteract her master who is trying to push or pull her forward.  The self-sufficient rebel in the making is guilty of idolatry because he believes he has become the ruler of his own destiny.

Rebellion is the final step in the decline.  A rebellious child is a child whose characteristics have gone beyond that of an angry man and has assumed the characteristics of the proverbial fool (p. 21-22, emphases mine).

a moment with william...

Last night, I took some time to encourage William for doing so well in obeying Momma and Dada that day... and for not arguing or complaining. Since we've gotten home from vacation and he's had some time to rest and take his naps, he has been such a different little boy. I always forget what lack of sleep can do to my little ones... heck, what lack of sleep can do to any of us!

Anyway, after encouraging William, he asked, "If I obey, then Jesus don't have to die?" What a sweet question! I just had to smile and thank God. I was incredibly encouraged to see that William is really beginning to process and think through the things we are sharing with him about the gospel, who Jesus is, and why He had to die. I told him that we can't obey all the time and that we all have sinned and will continue to sin. Momma sins. Dada sins. Josiah sins. And William sins. We have our good days and bad days, but it only has to take one sin for Jesus to have to die on the cross.  Then he asked how many times Jesus had to die.  So we talked more about that, although it was brief.  =)  Can't tell you how refreshing and wonderful it was to actually be able to have a conversation with my William about the gospel.  I am very grateful to the Lord that I can participate in his learning about Jesus and the cross.  Lord willing, I am looking forward to many more of these little talks with my little boy.  =)

this day...

I have always loved this oldie from Point of Grace. (I think it came out sometime in the early 90's.) It never fails to make me teary. Lately, I listened to it again, and the Lord has been using the lyrics of this song to help me cherish my days with my boys and not take them for granted, as I can so easily do. I especially love the bridge and last verse. "This Day," by Point of Grace...

This day is fragile - soon it will end.

And once it has vanished, it will not come again.

So let us love with a love pure and strong,

Before this day is gone.

This day is fleeting when it slips away,

Not all our money can buy back this day.

So let us pray that we might be a friend,

Before this day is gone.

This day is fleeting.

When it slips away,

Not all our money can buy back this day.

So let us pray that we might be a friend,

Before this day is spent.

This day we're given is golden.

Let us show love.

This day is ours for one moment,

Let us sow love.

This day is frail - it will pass by.

So before it's too late to recapture the time,

Let us share love, let us share God.

Before this day is gone.

Before this day is gone.

a little easter history & annapolis…

Bill and I are still trying to figure out what traditions we want to do for different holidays, but we used the Resurrection Eggs this year to help William begin to understand the death and resurrection of Christ… and we were pleased with how much he got out of them.

In wanting to see if there was any connection between Easter eggs, Easter bunnies, egg hunts/rolls and Christianity, I did a lot of research online. Here’s what I found for those who are interested: The early Christians adopted the idea of Easter eggs from pagan practices and kinda made it their own. (I was a little sad to find that the early Christians couldn't think of their own traditions to make.) Anyway, the origins of the word "Easter" are not certain, but probably derive from Estre, an Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. Eggs signify new life, which is mainly used to represent the coming of spring. Early Christians adopted eggs to signify new life that is available in Jesus Christ through His resurrection. "The egg is seen as symbolic of the grave and life renewed or resurrected by breaking out of it... Traditionally, Orthodox Easter eggs are dyed red to represent the blood of Christ, shed on the Cross, and the hard shell of the egg symbolized the sealed Tomb of Christ—the cracking of which symbolized his resurrection from the dead." I've also found that the dyeing of the eggs can be used to tell the Easter story, with each color signifying a different part of the story (i.e. red for His blood that was shed, black for his death, etc.) (Although I don't know where you'd find black dye.)

The Easter bunny is totally pagan though. It's just used in Easter (or the coming of spring) since rabbits are a symbol of fertility. Easter egg hunts/rolls are purely related to the Easter bunny, who leaves the eggs (which makes no sense b/c rabbits don't lay eggs) to "hatch new life." And people have turned it into something fun by putting candy inside. I could not find any connection between Easter egg hunts w/Christianity. But some people wrote that the Easter egg roll can represent the stone being rolled away. I think (personally) that's a bit of a stretch.

With that being said, Bill and I decided that we wanted to focus on the fact that the eggs are used to signify new life, particularly the new life we have in Jesus Christ through his death and resurrection. And the Easter egg, with whatever "treasure" is found inside, should remind us of the treasure and new life we have in Christ. It's similar to exchanging gifts during Christmas... Jesus was God's gift to us. And the dyeing of the eggs is just a fun way to make them pretty. =P (sorta like putting up a Christmas tree, although I haven’t really researched that.)

In preparing William to spend Easter w/Bill’s family this year, we talked to him about what the eggs represent, although I’m sure much of it went over his head. But we had a great time with Bill's family in Annapolis, and it was neat to watch William really get into the egg hunt and egg dyeing this year since he didn't really understand what was going on in previous years. Here are some highlights…

Playing with some sidewalk chalk and bubbles… Lori got William a cool bubble container where the wand would pop up when you squeezed it, but unfortunately, not many bubbles came of it. =( Josiah and his cousin Aidan, who I can’t believe has grown so much in the last year! Our little goofball… Josiah, his cousin Chris, and a neighbor’s dog… William has warmed up quite a bit to dogs. He used to be afraid of them and not want to touch them. The Easter egg hunt begins… Mema did a great job preparing all kinds of things for William to do. And she found these cute eggs that looked like farm animals. =) Looking for the eggs… Watching the action from the porch… Love this pic! And this one! Eating some Teddy Grahams found in one of the eggs… (Mom, thanks for finding some dairy-free treats for William!) And sharing some with Mema… Aunt Lori & Josiah… It was William’s turn to hide the eggs for Mema to find… William just tossed some of them into her garden… William helped Mema by telling her where the eggs were… =) Bill was getting some shut-eye during all the Easter egg hunting… ;) William is hiding the eggs now for Papa… tossing them into the garden. Papa is looking for the eggs… Josiah is taste-testing the bubbles. Mmmm, yummy! William is hiding the eggs now for Dada. Instead of tossing them, he resorted to the quick and efficient way of chucking them across the yard. It was pretty funny to watch. We had to wake Sleeping Beauty to go look for his eggs… Mema’s favorite place to be… Dyeing the eggs… Letting them sit for a while… Waiting is hard work! =) Ooooo… the moment of truth… Josiah was too busy wrestling with a teddy bear to dye eggs…

by grace alone...

Lately, I have been struggling a lot with discouragement and guilt over how difficult it's been to remain patient while parenting William. He is just at a super challenging age... and I am a super big sinner, so the Lord has been greatly using both to sanctify my heart... slowly conforming it more into the image of Jesus... albeit very, very slowly. =)

But I just started reading When Sinners Say I Do and received a lot of encouragement through just reading the first chapter. It is full of truths about what the Lord purposes for our marriages. And I believe some of these truths extend to our relationships w/our children or any other thing that we find challenging or tempting. Dave Harvey writes,

God is changing us as sinners. That process of change points toward a glorious goal - to become more like his Son, our Savior. But for us to become more like Christ, we must reckon with the fact that we are sinners; forgiven, yes, but still battling the inward drive to turn away from God to ourselves (p. 28-29, emphases mine).

Without such biblical clarity, we have no context for the cross and no ongoing awareness of our need for grace and mercy... Without a "full disclosure on sin," blind self-confidence will compel us to try to make our marriages work on our own strength. And whatever we try to do in our own strength does not have as its goal the glory of God and does not get its life from the fountain of the gospel (p. 29, emphases mine).

Nothing ground-breaking here, but Truth is truth. And the Lord used these truths at the right time to minister to and bring abundant peace to my soul. How kind of Him to remind me that I am still a sinner. =) I will never be the perfect momma I want to be for William (& Josiah). Oh, wretched momma that I am.

The Lord has perfectly made me righteous before Him through the shed blood of Jesus for my sins. I am already fully justified before my Savior who bore the penalty of my transgressions against a Holy and Perfect God. But in this life, God has deemed it good for His children to walk through a sanctification process by allowing that battle w/sin to continue in our hearts... having that inward drive to turn away from God to ourselves. I can so relate to this... how many times have I chosen to give in to anger, rather than patience, compassion, kindness, forbearance, humility... how many times do I choose to do things my way, rather than God's way, blindly believing that my way is best and right. Oh, wretched momma that I am.

BUT without these struggles, I realized there would be no context for the cross in my life... no awareness of my need for grace and mercy. And that is THE POINT!! The point is to daily see my need for grace and mercy in everything that I do. It is to daily, moment by moment, see my need for a Savior... b/c when I cease to struggle or battle, I cease to need my Lord.

So instead of finding discouragement, I am finding encouragement that the Lord has me exactly where He wants me... He wants me to see how I need Him... how in need I am of His grace, mercy, and help in my life. The Lord knows I will always be that wretched momma... (constantly battling anger and self-sufficiency), and that's ok. It's ok b/c it's not about me. It's about God's work in me. It is only by His grace that I will grow to be more like Jesus. He is doing a work in me that will someday be fully completed when I see Him face to face. I take much comfort in knowing that "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Phil 1:6; emphasis mine). His work in me will one day be completed. Not today, or tomorrow, or the next day... but it will be one day completed. And each day that He gives me is a day in that process that gets me closer to that Final Day.

I had forgotten all this... and am so grateful to the Lord for reminding me of these wonderful truths.

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~ 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ~

The Lord is keeping me humble. He is helping me to lean on His grace, for it is sufficient. It is enough. He will give me just the perfect amount of grace for what I need. Nothing more than that, and nothing less than that. It is only when I am truly weak in my sin... and struggling, that He will strengthen me with the power of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong! I am only beginning to wrap my mind around this. =) By His grace alone...

i yove you weewy much...

The Lord was kind to give me a very good day with William. Normally, there's a lot of rebellion and bad attitudes that need to be worked through with him... ok, as well as with me, to be totally honest. Let's just say that the Lord has been doing much lately in terms of using each of us to sanctify the other. =)

However, William and I had an especially difficult time before his bedtime. I had definitely sinned against him. And before I was convicted about seeking his forgiveness, I was brought to tears as my little boy pursued me a few minutes later and told me he wanted me (instead of Bill) to put him down for bed. He said, "Momma put you down. Momma, I yove you weewy [really] much." He said that about 3 times before I could even respond to him because I was so taken aback by his love that did not even consider how he had been wronged. "Momma, I yove you weewy much." He had so very quickly forgiven me before I had sought his forgiveness. "Momma, I yove you weewy much."

Can't tell you how blown away I was by how the Lord gave me a little window into how He covers over my sin and pursues me even when I have not repented of my sins and am still deep in it. William pursued me as if I had never sinned against him. And I was immediately convicted that that's how the Lord treats me... that even despite how I constantly sin against Him, He treats me as if I never sinned against Him. And I know that's only possible because of the blood of Jesus that covers me by His substitutionary sacrifice on the cross for my sins. Jesus bore God's wrath for me so I would not ever have to bear it myself... even when I still sin. God is the same towards me regardless of whether I sin. He is ALWAYS kind regardless of whether I sin. He is ALWAYS patient regardless of whether I sin. He is ALWAYS compassionate regardless of whether I sin. It is the gospel that gives me hope "that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ" (Phil. 1:6)... that with His help and the fact that I am a new creation, I can grow in becoming a better Momma to William. His mercies are truly new every morning. Isn't that amazing? Every morning, the Lord has fresh, new mercies to pour out on His children. Every day, there are new opportunities to start anew because of His mercies, both old and new.

What amazing grace was displayed through my precious little boy. And how grateful I am to the Lord for him... he doesn't even know how much the Lord is using him to teach his momma all kinds of good and important things on a daily basis, especially about being the first to extend grace and being quick to forgive.

William, I yove you weewy much.... more than you will ever know!