servant parenting

Recently, I've begun reading Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp. I have a bad habit of starting books, but never finishing them. I wish I could be more like Bill or Aida, who can finish books in a few hours, and move on to another one. But I can never read more than a few pages without falling asleep or losing focus. And on the rare occasion that I do happen to finish a book, I need to take a break from reading for a while... =)

Anyway, this is one of the books that fell by the wayside, but with William growing older and finding the need for more wisdom in our discipline with him, I thought it would be a good idea to try and finish this book. Even in the intro alone, it brought much conviction to make sure I'm not parenting selfishly or with my own agendas. It also convicted me of my need to grow in my love for God, since William will learn much more through what he sees me doing, rather than what I tell or teach him. Here's an excerpt that served as a great reminder for me...

"You may not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience. You must direct your children on God's behalf for their good...

God calls you by his Word and His example to be authorities who are truly kind. God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants - authorities who lay down our lives. The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.

The parent is the child's guide. This shepherding process helps a child to understand himself and the world in which he lives. The parent shepherds a child to assess himself and his responses. He shepherds the child to understand not just the 'what' of the child's actions, but also the 'why.' As the shepherd, you want to help your child understand himself as a creature made by and for God... You must shepherd his thoughts, helping him to learn discernment and wisdom.

This shepherding process is a richer interaction than telling your child what to do and think. It involves investing your life in your child in open and honest communication that unfolds the meaning and purpose of life.. It is not simply direction, but direction in which there is self-disclosure and sharing. Values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught...

your objective is not simply to discuss, but to demonstrate the freshness and vitality of life lived in integrity toward God and your family" (p. xviii-xix, emphases mine).