heart of anger (book quote 6)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo...

A four-step process to help parents teach their children how to identify and correct sinful expressions of anger (paraphrase):

Step 1.  Identify the circumstantial provocation of the anger
Question 1 - What happened that provoked me to anger?  (What circumstances led to my becoming angry?) is a diagnostic question whose purpose is to help your child understand what things lead to his/her becoming angry.

Step 2.  Describe the outward manifestations of the anger
Question 2 - What did I say and/or do when I became angry?  (How did I respond to the anger-provoking circumstances?) is to help your child recall the fullness of his/her angry response.  By specifying the details of an angry response, your child can see his words and actions in black and white.

Step 3.  Evaluate biblically the exact nature of the anger
Question 3 - What does the Bible say about what I said or did when I became angry?  (What is the biblical terminology for what I said or did when I became angry?) will help your child appreciate God's perspective regarding his angry response.

A problem cannot be solved biblically until it is diagnosed using biblical terminology.

Step 4.  Develop a biblical response to the circumstantial provocation
Question 4 - What should I have said/done when I became angry?  (How could I have responded biblically when I became angry?) is essential to the training of your child to respond to future provocations in a righteous manner.

This is perhaps the most important step in that it is the step where correction and disciplined training in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16) can most effectively be emphasized.  As your child sincerely considers various alternative biblical responses, he not only demonstrates repentance, but also prepares for future provocations (temptations) by exercising himself for the purpose of godliness (1 Tim. 4:7).