home...

Just wanted to post some thoughts that have been bringing much peace on the eve of our bankruptcy hearing.  These are thoughts that I've been meditating on since our bankruptcy journey has started, especially in knowing that we would not be able to purchase our own home anytime within the next few years... at least.  That definitely took some wrestling through with the Lord... that dream of owning a single family home with a big yard for the boys to play in, a place where you can be hospitable and not worry about limited space, a place where you can just come to rest, put your feet up, and just be yourself... knowing that this is the place where people love you the most no matter how sinful you are, a place that is secure, safe, comforting, warm, inviting, loving... that's a home (to me).  =)

But having to come to terms with the possibility that we may never own our own home (since we have no idea how long the market will be the way it is or how long it will actually take for us to recover our credit.  Only the Lord knows these things as He holds our future in His hands.), really forced me to ask myself why this meant so much to me.  Why did I have this specific picture of what a home looks like?  Why was I thinking that I would feel a sense of completion when I attained this kind of a "home?"  And what does it mean if things don't turn out that way?  I quickly realized that wanting a place to call home is not sinful in and of itself.  God has given us a desire to call somewhere home... to be known and loved... to be home somewhere...

As I considered all this, I was so grateful for the Lord's reminder that my true home in fact, is not here.  My citizenship is not here.  Home is in Heaven with Him, where He has prepared a place for me.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ...

Philippians 3:20

In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

John 14:2-3

And if on this earth, I never have a place I can really call "home," I am grateful for the opportunity to be reminded over and over again that I have a better home to one day look forward to.  It's not time yet to kick my feet up and rest.  =)  As long as I am given breath, the Lord has work for me to do.  So I want to do it gratefully, knowing that I have a heavenly home to look forward to, where my gracious and loving Father is also.  And I thank God for the opportunity to also point my sons to the tangible fact that their ultimate home is not here either.  Wherever God leads us, it's home b/c He's there with us.  Not because we have a certain kind of home that looks a certain way.

No matter how things go tomorrow, we know that the only thing they can take from us is "stuff."  And though that would be hard to lose our physical possessions, we know we will always retain what is of infinite and eternal value... our standing as forgiven children of God.  In light of this, knowing that we are not only forgiven, but also adopted into God's family as co-heirs with Christ, we have been very grateful for this opportunity to keep our eyes heavenward and to live by faith.  So whether we have a physical dwelling we would like to call home, Home is ultimately where God leads us, eventually to that final destination where He has already prepared a place for us.