heart of anger (book quote 10)

From The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo, on manipulation...

To manipulate is to attempt to control.  For a Christian, manipulation is using unbiblical means of controlling or influencing another person.  More specifically, it is often an attempt to gain control of another individual or situation by inciting an emotional reaction rather than a biblical response from that individual.

[In the example of Mary and Martha...]  Martha wanted, perhaps too much, assistance with her food preparations and was frustrated that her sister left her to do all the serving by herself.  Rather than telling the Lord exactly what she wanted (help with the cooking), she attempted to play on His emotions (sympathy and perhaps guilt).  "Do you not care?"... she was attempting to motivate someone to fulfill her personal desires... without clearly stating them.  An appeal for sympathy, rightly expressed, is not necessarily wrong as long as the true desire behind such an appeal is also expressed (in this case Martha's desire for help) (p. 125).